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I've been neglecting this thing for the past few months. I mean, I've posted a bunch of random jokes and news articles, but no actual entries of substance in quite some time. So here's a quick update.
As you can see, I have changed my LiveJournal profile in preparation for May 22, when Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is released. The few trailors they've released so far look pretty good. I can't wait...
The school year is winding down. Today was the last day of classes, and exams are next week. My grades probably won't be as good as they have been in the first three semesters, but they'll be fine. Probably just more Bs than usual.
I've also been co-chairing my church's Search Committee since January. That seems to be winding down as well, which is a relief, because it's been a lot of work.
My work plans for the summer right now include two jobs: I'll be working for DRL Hilltop, M-F 7-3, and I may be working a few hours at the Marketplace as well, like some 4-8s on weekdays and maybe on weekends.
Oh, and Spring Weekend was fun . . . i got totally wasted.
Till we meet again. . . .
The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balchoy."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and St. Peter asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
amusedThis is partcularly significant because I thought he was dead for the longest time. Thanks to Andrew for breaking the news to me.
RIP Charlton Heston.
(AP) A 35-year-old woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time he called police had a phobia about leaving the bathroom, the boyfriend said.
"She is an adult; she made her own decision," said her boyfriend, Kory McFarren. "I should have gotten help for her sooner; I admit that. But after a while, you kind of get used to it."
The case drew nationwide attention after Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat in the two years she apparently was in the bathroom.
"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."
McFarren, 36, said he can't be certain how long Pam Babcock stayed in the bathroom because "time just went by so quick I can't pinpoint how long." He said beatings she received in her childhood caused her phobia.
"It just kind of happened one day; she went in and had been in there a little while, the next time it was a little longer. Then she got it in her head she was going to stay - like it was a safe place for her," McFarren said.
Link to full article
Courtesy of CBS News
All I have to say is WOOOOOOOW.
nauseatedChuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops
By Mohammed Abbas
FALLUJA, Iraq (Reuters) - Hollywood action star Chuck Norris, known for his martial arts prowess and tough-guy image, has become a cult figure among the U.S. military in Iraq and an unlikely hero for some in Iraq's security forces.
A small cardboard shrine is dedicated to Norris at a U.S. military helicopter hub in Baghdad, and comments lauding the manliness and virility of the actor have been left on toilet walls across Iraq and even in neighboring Kuwait, soldiers say.
"The fastest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist," reads one message at the shrine, which consists of a signed photo of the actor surrounded by similar statements.
"Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter," reads one and "Chuck Norris divides by zero," reads another.
Known as Chuck Norris "facts", the claims have already become an Internet phenomenon, and scores are featured on www.chucknorrisfacts.com, including "Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas", and "There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma".
The actor has visited Iraq several times and was made an honorary Marine last year. Some 20 U.S. military personnel and support staff spoken to by Reuters could recite at least one Norris "fact", despite many having not visited the Web site.
Link to full article
Courtesy of Reuters
amused
exhaustedHAVANA (Reuters) - Ailing Cuban leader Fidel Castro said on Tuesday that he will not return to lead the country as president, retiring as head of state 49 years after he seized power in an armed revolution.
Castro, 81, said in a statement to the country that he would not seek a new presidential term when the National Assembly meets on February 24.
"To my dear compatriots, who gave me the immense honor in recent days of electing me a member of parliament ... I communicate to you that I will not aspire to or accept -- I repeat not aspire to or accept -- the positions of President of Council of State and Commander in Chief," Castro said in the statement published on the Web site of the Communist Party's Granma newspaper.
The National Assembly or legislature is expected to nominate his brother and designated successor Raul Castro, 76, as president in place of Castro, who has not appeared in public for almost 19 months after being stricken by an undisclosed illness.
His retirement drew the curtain on a political career that spanned the Cold War and survived U.S. enmity, CIA assassination attempts and the demise of Soviet Communism.
A charismatic leader famous for his long speeches delivered in his green military fatigues, Castro is admired in the Third World for standing up to the United States but considered by his opponents a tyrant who suppressed freedom.
His illness and departure from Cuba's helm have raised doubts about the future of the Western Hemisphere's only communist state.
Link to full articleCourtesy of Reuters
This happens about 3-4 weeks into each semester, when the work starts piling on, so it's nothing new...By next week I'll be doing work like all the time.
I'm enjoying this presidential race...It's so satisfying to see a non-Jesus Freak Republican nominee, and it's very amusing to see all the conservatives pissed off because someone who represents their extreme views is not running for president. Part of me just wants to go "HA! Take that, bitches...WHAT NOW???" but I suppose I'm more mature than that.
I have an English paper due on Thursday. Well, a first draft. I think I'm going to write it on Benjamin Franklin's use of frugality in his Autobiography.
You are a little hesitant and insecure when it comes to taking action, but the truth is you are extremely capable and full of life and hope, and are a natural leader. You are an idealist and you often wish that there was something you could do to make society a little better. Although you can be overdramatic when faced with obstacles, you have a strong support group of people who love you who will be there to set you back on your feet. Sometimes you have difficulty opening your heart and expressing your feelings because you are worried that people won't accept you, so you act nonchalant and cool. However, you are slowly learning to let people into your heart and let go of your fears.
(Facebook Application)
It's weird seeing presidential campaign commercials here in Connecticut...I just saw a Barack Obama commercial followed by a Hillary Clinton commercial...
Anyway, classes are okay so far...My Shakespeare class was canceled on Tuesday, so I'll see how that is tomorrow.
Classes start tomorrow. I have four straight English classes, from 9:30-3:15. All of those classes should be interesting, but at the same time, it's a lot of English to deal with. Hopefully i won't want to shoot myself at the end of the day...In a little while, I'm gonna get all my notebooks and such ready, which reminds me - I need to stop by the Co-op to pick up a bunch of folders.
Some bad news...Charles will not be returning to South Dining Hall this semester. In fact, I think he's transferring to Eastern. Whatever the case may be, he'd better return his beard...After all, it is the property of South.
Also...my cat died on Friday. She was 20 years and 10 months old. She had been getting steadily worse over the past couple of weeks, so we knew it was coming pretty soon. We buried her right next to the dog's grave, and I sprinkled the leftover cat food in her grave.
Gots to wake up early tomorrow, like, between 8 and 8:15. May Williams be with you all.
My harpoon came today. On Monday I'm probably gonna have Mark help me hang it in the Grab N Go at work. It will be a nice decoration. We'll just have to make sure Bill doesn't actually try to use it, because, well, knowing him...
I've been playing Guitar Hero the past couple days, which pretty fuckin' sweet.
Tomorrow I have to go to Danbury to help Peter move into his apartment. Should be loads of fun.
I've played Jetman like 5 or 6 times tonight, and that's ALL...I'm cutting down on my Jetman playing time in preparation for school.
Well...time to fly!
boredIt may be because it's vacation, when there's nothing else to do but sit on my computer and play mindless arcade games for hours. It may be because this game is so damn addicting, that you tell yourself "this is my last game of the night" yet you know very well you'll be sitting there two hours later, still vainly attempting to break that seemingly unattainable 2,000 point plateau (or 5,000 or 6,000, for the more gifted among us).
After trying so many times and each time, failing, to reach a certain goal, I begin brainwashing myself into trying certain "strategies," and thinking that these will somehow allow my jetman character to maneuver more smoothly and accurately through the sea of deadly blocks. I start to always go either over or under the first block. I switch quickly from character to character, angrily condemning that fat, fucking JetKurby for being a fat bitch and plowing right into the middle of a block, or cussing that stupid idiot JetWitch for being too long.
And then I obsess over which 20 people to invite each day to unlock more Jetman characters. I hate being invited to 20-something million pointless Facebook applications each day, so naturally I feel pretty bad, not to mention hypocritical, after compulsively inviting the same people to Jetman over and over again, just to get a stupid new character that I'll use once before cussing it out and vowing never to use it again.
Of course there's also the self-esteem issue. My self-esteem has been steadily dropping, due to my inability to beat Chris's high score of over 5,000 and Abbey's of over 3,000. I CAN'T EVEN GET OVER 2,000! SERIOUSLY! What the hell is up with that? Do I suck THAT much?
And so I'll continue to waste away my life for the remainder of this vacation with a stupid arcade game that you can't actually win.
As Chris just so intelligently stated, "Fuck Jetman."
So while browsing the internets a couple of nights ago, I came across the blog of a gentleman named Steve Pavlina. This guy is a sort of Personal Growth expert, and he runs a website that's purpose is to provide "personal development for smart people."
He works from home, which allows him to conduct many experiments, including one on polyphasic sleeping which I found most interesting. Polyphasic sleeping differs from the normal monophasic sleeping in that one takes several naps throughout the day, rather than sleeping once a day for a longer period of time. In this particular experiment, Steve takes a half-hour nap every four hours; that's six naps a day for a total of three hours of sleeping time each day. He does it for five and a half months before returning to monophasic sleep. And after the initial week-long transition stage, he got used to it and felt just as alert and had just as much energy as he had during monophasic sleep. This gave him a lot more free time during the day, although it was weird to be awake for most of the time his family was sleeping.
Steve Pavlina's Polyphasic Sleep Log
He decided to switch back to a normal sleep schedule citing several reasons, the main one being that it was weird having a polyphasic sleep schedule in a monophasic world. He also missed sleeping with his wife at night.
I found this quite interesting, but it's probably never something I would try. The first week of transition sounds like hell, and I'm certainly not in a position where I can really try this anyway. Steve Pavlina works from home and runs his own website, so he has much greater flexibility in that he can try strange experiments like this.
In Steve's polyphasic sleep log, I also discovered Thai Ngoc, a 64-year-old Vietnamese man who claims to have not slept a wink in over 33 years. Personally, I don't really believe this guy...The longest he's ever been observed is for four days straight, and there are conflicting reports as to the source of his alleged insomnia. For example, one article says his sleeplessness began after a fever in 1973, while another article says that "One day [in 1976], out of the blue, without any other sign of illness or disease, he discovered he could not sleep." If it is true, it is obviously an amazing story, but I have my doubts. I'd like to see this guy observed by some news agency for several weeks straight instead of merely four days; that might give his claim more credibility.
Here are the links to two articles about Thai Ngoc:
My Kingdom for a Snooze (Vietnam Investment Review)
Vietnam Man Handles Three Decades Without Sleep (Thanh Nien Daily)
Well, that's probably more about sleep than most people want to know, so I'll leave it at that. And if you ever decide to try out polyphasic sleep or to stay awake for 33 years, please let me know...I'd be very interested to hear how it goes.
thoughtfulEverest conqueror Edmund Hillary dies
By Kazunori Takada
WELLINGTON (Reuters) - New Zealand's Sir Edmund Hillary, who along with Nepal's Tenzing Norgay Sherpa became the first to conquer Mount Everest, died in hospital on Friday. He was 88.
New Zealand flags flew at half mast at Scott Base in Antarctica on Friday, mourning the loss of one of the greatest adventurers of the 20th century.
"The legendary mountaineer, adventurer, and philanthropist is the best-known New Zealander ever to have lived. But most of all he was a quintessential Kiwi," New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark said on Friday in announcing Hillary's death.
Hillary scaled the world's highest mountain in 1953, telling companions after the climb: "We knocked the bastard off".
The cause of Hillary's death was not announced, but he had been ill for some time and local media reported he had been suffering pneumonia. Radio New Zealand said he died at Auckland City Hospital on Friday morning.
"He was a colossus. He was an heroic figure who not only knocked off Everest but lived a life of determination, humility, and generosity," said Clark.
Born in Auckland on July 20, 1919, Hillary led an uneventful life until he achieved his Everest triumph at the age of 33.
Full Article
Courtesy of Reuters
So I've been sleeping a lot so far this vacation. Sleeping, and seeing a lot of movies, including:
Sweeney Todd - Saw this one twice; it is amazing. Johnny Depp and Alan Rickman do a great job portraying the characters, and there's tons of blood and violence. Meat pie, anyone?
I am Legend - This was alright, probably not something I'd wanna see again though. Pretty entertaining, and creepy at some parts. Will Smith is sexy as usual.
Juno - This is definitely a girly movie, but it's actually pretty amazing. The soundtrack is awesome, definitely my kinda music. I was quite impressed by Ellen Page's acting as well.
The Golden Compass - I think I talked about this in one of my previous entries. At first I think I said it was all right aside from some obvious flaws, but the more I think about it, I come to the conclusion that it really doesn't do the book justice what with the plot changes. The fact that they moved the ending of the first book to the second movie to create a "happy ending" to the first movie really bothered me.
I also downloaded and watched several classics I'd never seen before that I needed to see.
Die Hard - I'm not sure why I never saw this until now, but it was freakin' awesome. Bruce Willis sure kicks some ass.
The Graduate - This was hilarious, I was laughing my ass off throughout. And the Simon and Garfunkel soundtrack is so good.
Dr. Strangelove (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb) - This was a weeeeird sort of comedy...I kinda liked it though, and everything gets blown up at the end, which is always good.
And I am eagerly anticipating the next great American classic, the fourth Rambo movie, entitled simply Rambo. If Rocky Balboa is any indication, Rambo is going to be AWESOME. hahahaha
New Year's Eve I went to Liz's and got totally trashed. We played Drunk Cranium. It was awesome. Although there's some very unflattering pictures of me and Ben that hopefully will not end up on Facebook.
Saturday was Pete's Eagle Court of Honor. For once, I did not MC a Court of Honor, which I was very happy about. I still participated in the ceremony, however, by presiding over the Rededication. had a nice long talk with Brennan afterwards. Apparently he's in my Anthro class next semester. I'm not sure how to feel about that...
Yesterday Jon Stewart and Dan Rather were on The Simpsons. Which reminds me...Tonight is the return of the Daily Show and the Colbert Report! Most excellent indeed.
So I won Halo 3 last week, and then I won Portal a few days ago. They're both such awesome games.
Well anyway, talk to y'alls later.
Flow gently, I'll sing thee a song in thy praise!
My Mary's asleep by the murmuring stream --
Flow gently, sweet Afton, disturb not her dream!
Thou stock dove whose echo resounds thro' the glen,
Ye wild whistling blackbirds in yon thorny den
Thou green-crested lapwing, thy screaming forbear --
I charge you, disturb not my slumbering fair!
How lofty, sweet Afton, thy neighbouring hills,
Far mark'd with the courses of clear, winding rills!
There daily I wander, as noon rises high,
My flocks and my Mary's sweet cot in my eye.
How pleasant thy banks and green vallies below,
Where wild in the woodlands the primrose blow:
There oft, as mild ev'ning weeps over the lea,
The sweet-scented birk shades my Mary and
me.
Thy crystal stream, Afton, how lovely it glides,
And winds by the cot where my Mary resides!
How wanton thy waters her snowy feet lave,
As, gathering sweet flowerets, she stems thy clear wave!
Flow gently, sweet Afton, among thy green braes!
Flow gently, sweet river, the theme of my lays!
My Mary's asleep by thy murmuring stream --
Flow gently, sweet Afton, disturb not her dream!
du kannst mir sehr gefallen!
The news had come out in the First World War
The bloody Red Baron was flying once more
The Allied command ignored all of its men
And called on Snoopy to do it again.
Twas the night before Christmas, 40 below
When Snoopy went up in search of his foe
He spied the Red Baron, fiercely they fought
With ice on his wings Snoopy knew he was caught.
Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ring out from the land
Asking peace of all the world
And good will to man
The Baron had Snoopy dead in his sights
He reached for the trigger to pull it up tight
Why he didn't shoot, well, we'll never know
Or was it the bells from the village below.
Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ringing through the land
Bringing peace to all the world
And good will to man
The Baron made Snoopy fly to the Rhine
And forced him to land behind the enemy lines
Snoopy was certain that this was the end
When the Baron cried out, "Merry Christmas, my friend"
The Baron then offered a holiday toast
And Snoopy, our hero, saluted his host
And then with a roar they were both on their way
Each knowing they'd meet on some other day.
Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ringing through the land
Bringing peace to all the world
And good will to man
Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ringing through the land
Bringing peace to all the world
And good will to man